Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
