there was a trapeze. enough said
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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