Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
