I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize