Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
