Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
