You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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