good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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