Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
