So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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