Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
