I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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