can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
