you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
