it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
