I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
