Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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