if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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