i need an iv and a liver transplant
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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