Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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