Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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