So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
