Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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