i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
