i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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