Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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