I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I forgot wine drunk hurts
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
