Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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