i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
