last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Randomize
