Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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