We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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