come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So many bounce houses so little time
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
