Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
