I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
