i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
