we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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