Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
