I puked a lego.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
