i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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