Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize