It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just googled if crying burns calories
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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