gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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