another moral hangover. fuck.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
