There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
