their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
His nipple licking is glorious
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