do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
