how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Are we still banned from the library?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
