I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
