just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize