Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
