garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
