You just made me feel so damn special
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
