Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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