Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
my poor anus
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
