You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
